Only For A Little While
by monocledog
Summary: He slowly creeps into her room and tiptoes his way to her sleeping form. For a while he just stands in front of her hoping she would wake up and realize he's there
1. Chapter 1

He slowly creeps into her room and tiptoes his way to her sleeping form. For a while he just stands in front of her hoping she would wake up and realize he's there. It was dark in her room; the only light source was from the alarm clock on the table next to her bed. He waits, standing in silence and watching her. His patience wore thin and he pokes her arm with his finger. No response. He does it once more. The result was the same as the last. He considers going back to his room but then he's already come this far. After ten minutes of standing and contemplating what to do he grabs her arm and shakes it a little. She wakes up slowly, eyes half open, and she sits up.

"What's wrong Hamish?" She asked in a quiet voice.

He hesitates, feeling a bit guilty for waking her up. "I can't fall asleep."

He expects her to be mad at him but she chuckles a little and picks him up. She lays him down next to her on the bed and pulls the covers over him. Her bed was much warmer than his and after a few minutes she falls back asleep, but he's still awake. He looks at the clock; it read 2:43 am. For a little while he just watches her sleep, and then he starts wondering. He wondered when the sun would rise, where the sun was shining right now, where the sun is rising right now, where the sun is setting, how long does it take for the sun to rise and set. He kept on thinking about the sun and eventually he fell asleep.

He asks about his father sometimes. He knows she doesn't like it when he does but he can't help it, he's five years old and he's curious. She gets frustrated and sad when he asks about his father. She tries to be both a mother and father to the boy, so when he asks about his father she gets sad, feeling like she wasn't enough for him. In the beginning, she wouldn't answer his questions; she would simply tell him it's pointless to ask about his father and the man would probably not want him in his life. She tells him this several times but that doesn't stop him from asking, by the ninth time she gives in and tells the boy what he wants to know.

"I want to see what he looks like." He says sounding very excited, he even has a big grin on his face.

She shows him his father's website and a picture of him on the internet. He frowns a bit. He has always imagined his father to be tall and strong with a warm smile and kind eyes. Instead, he sees a strict and skinny man with ice cold eyes. But at least he's tall, or maybe he just looks tall because of the short blond man standing next to him.

"Sorry he's not what you expect him to be", Irene says as she combs Hamish's hair with one of her hands," but I think you will find his friend's blog to live up to your standards."

She opens up John's blog and she leaves him alone in front of the laptop so he can peruse the site.

-  
They move around a lot. She tells him it's dangerous to stay in one place too long and it's for their safety. He can't fully remember the first place they lived in but he remembers his room. The room was white; it had only one window where the sun would always shine through in the morning, the carpet was white and so was his bed, and there were some toys scattered on the floor. The setting was like a hospital or a mental ward but it never cold or desolate; it actually gave out a warm and peaceful feeling. The next place they stayed at he couldn't remember quite clearly as the last, but he remembered it was a very small space. He didn't like living there, there was only one room, there was never any hot water, it was cold all the time, the light always went out and he didn't understand the language the people was speaking. He was glad they only lived there for a little while. He would always try to remember the places they stayed in by picking out a tiny detail about it, but eventually he ends up forgetting. Most of the time he would ask her how long they were staying her and every time she would answer him "Not a long time, only for a little while. A month or two maybe." Although they traveled a lot the one trip he remembered most vividly was the trip England. They were walking down the street at night and she was holding his hand. She stops in front of an old house that was boarded up. The lawn was piled with trash and debris and any sign of life was gone. The scene itself was quite tragic but she was smiling.

She leaned in close to him and softly said, "This was my childhood home. When I was little my mother would always try to plant something out here so she can have her ideal garden. It always failed of course, she was always working and no one would tend to any of the flowers."

She paused little and continued," When I was about your age my sisters and I would always compete with each other to see who can climb that tree the fastest. On my first attempt I got higher than any of my sisters, but I fell down and broke my arm. My father drove me to the hospital and yelled at me for being stupid and reckless."

"Did you cry?"

"From the pain, yes. From my father yelling at me, no."

"Where's your father now?"

"I don't know."

"Is he dead?"

"Probably."

He waits for a little and then, "Is your entire family dead?"

She thinks about his question for about a minute, "There's a very high chance. Do you want to go inside?"  
"No."

"Okay. Let's keep walking before anyone sees us."

He wonders if she loves his father. She never mentions him and gets irritated when he's brought up. He always wanted to ask her what she thought of him, but he was afraid of her response. If he asks her she would give an answer that answers nothing and would end the conversation as soon as it began. One day he summons up the courage and confronts her.

"Do I love your father?" She says in an incredulous tone.

"Yes." He says with confidence.

"Why does it matter?" she huffs, the annoyance in her voice is present.

"I just want to know. Do you?" he pressed on.

She stares at him with a blank expression. She's thinking of getting him a glass of milk and spiking it so she could avoid answering the question. But as always she gives in to his demands. "Sometimes.", she answers.

"Sometimes? Then do you hate him at other times?"

"Yes, but, well, it's quite complicated." She stammered.

"Why do you hate him? What did he do? Did he hurt you?"

"Like I said, it's complicated and it's none of your business. Don't worry about it. I don't see why you're always so interested in your father. He has no intention of seeing you and getting to know you and yet you want to know everything about him. Why do you care so much about a man who doesn't care about you?

"I just want to know what he's like." He says timidly.

She's hurt him. He's not giving her any eye contact and he's on the verge of tears.

She sighs and writes something down on a piece of paper. "If you're so curious about him then here", she hands him the piece of paper," that's your father's address. If you have any questions or if you want to meet him just go there and ask him yourself, although there's a chance he would just ignore you."

"I can go by myself?"  
"I'll take you there but you can confront him yourself."

"May I go see him right now?" he asks with excitement. The tears were gone and his eyes were bright and beaming.

"He's out solving a case, didn't you read John's blog?"

"Still? Why is he so slow? I solved it this morning when I read it." He pouts.

She stares at him in silence. She wonders if he's lying but she knows he never lies. "You solved the case?" she asks in disbelief.

"Of course. Did you? Do you want me to show you?" he says it in a mocking way.

He brings the laptop and sits next to her. He has three pages open, one on John's blog, the other on a news site and one on a CCTV camera. He explains to her how he solved the case with the minimal evidence he had. She doesn't ask him how he got into the CCTV.

"Do you do this a lot? Solve your father's cases before he does?"

"No, most of the time he solves it before I do", he face turns red," but I solved all the ones he wasn't able to solve. Some of them were kind of hard but I figured them out once I started thinking more."

She smiles at the boys and gives a small kiss on his cheek. "Good job, keep this up and you might become better than your father."

That statement makes his smile grow.

It becomes a regular thing for the two of them. The first thing they would do every morning was check John's blog to see if there were any new cases. Sometimes they would solve them together. Sometimes she solves them before he does. Sometimes he solves them before she does. Sometimes they won't be able to solve it so they won't for more evidence or for Sherlock to solve it. It becomes a competition for the both of them to see who can solve the case the fastest. When he solves the case first she doesn't get angry at him for beating her, instead she praises him and would kiss and hug him. He loved it when she praised him, he felt he was loved more and he was important. He would try to be perfect in anything just so he can get her praise and know that he was her pride. In reality she praised him because she was proud of him but she showed him more love and affection because it reminded her of his father. If she were honest with him, when he asked whether she loved his father or not, she would have answered yes and that she misses him every single day. She doesn't know if he loves her back or not, the man is still a complete mystery to her, and she doesn't want to know. If the answer was no, she would be broken. If the answer was yes, she would be conflicted on whether to settle and stay with him. She spent most of her life doing what she wanted whenever she wanted. The idea of just stopping and living with someone for the rest of her life troubled her. It would be better to settle because of her son but she thinks she won't be able to live with it. She would feel the need to rebel and she would end up running away. Even if she does end up settling it probably won't last. The two of them conflict each other too much and they would both end up hurting each other more than before. In the end, it would be better to never know the answer to that question.

He doesn't know how it happened. They were doing fine yesterday and now they are hiding again. The sky was dark and the moon wasn't out. It's the middle of the night, they are hiding from someone who wants to kill them and that person is coming. She closes the door to their hideout softly. It's a small flat and the building has been abandoned long ago. They have been running at full sprint for an hour and they need to rest. He wants to cry but she tells him to keep quiet or he'll find the two of them. Half an hour later she tells him to stay in the hideout and that she's going out to see if it's safe.

"No you can't go, it's not safe! You'll die!"

"I need to see if it's safe so we can get out of here or we will both die."

"But what if he's outside? He'll shoot in the head and you'll die!" the tears are forming in his eyes.

"Maybe he's not. Maybe's he's gone. This is our chance to run."

He grabs onto her leg, the tears streaming down his face," You can't go! Please don't leave me!"

She gets on her knees and wraps her arms around him," Don't worry, I won't be gone for long. Just wait here, you'll be okay."

She releases him, gets up, and goes outside quietly. He's still crying and he starts to panic. Then he remembers. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls of a small piece of paper. It was his father's address. He needs to go there. He needs to get his help. He opens the door, clutching the piece of paper in his other. He jumps at the sound of a gunshot and a scream of a woman. He runs to sound of the scream and when he turns to his left he sees his mother. Her right leg has been shot and was oozing blood. The killer was right behind her, slowly walking up to her. She sees him and she smiles, she can't do anything else. He starts crying again, he calls out to her telling her to run. He sees the killer point the gun at her. She opens her mouth to speak but it comes out in a choking sound, she was crying.

"Hamish…don't worry…it's going to be okay."

The man pulls the trigger and the gun shot was louder than anything he has heard in his life. The bullet bursts through her chest and she starts falling forward. He runs up to her as soon as he sees the man pull the trigger. She falls on top the boy with her blood spilling out of her chest and onto his jacket. He's lying on the floor in full panic. She was dead before she fell over and now the killer was walking towards him. He can't run, he can't feel his legs, he can't even cry anymore. The killer stands over him, he looks at the boy and smiles.

"I should kill you right now," he had a stern voice," but I won't. I want you to remember this moment for the rest of your life. When you're sitting at home suffering from Alzheimer or on your dying breath, I want you to remember this moment. How she died and who killed her. I want you to remember this always."

The man walks away and he leaves him lying on the floor, a small puddle of his mother's blood forming beside him. He felt like the world beside him was dissolving. He wanted this to be a dream and so he tried to convince himself it was.

The Detective Inspector starts up the stairs as fast as he can with Anderson following behind him. He turns the corner and he sees one body draped on top of the other and a puddle of blood. He runs up to the two bodies and he kneels down. He slowly lifts the woman's body up and he looks down on the boy's body. His eyes were still open and his jacket was soaked in blood. Anderson walks squats down next to the boy; he checks his pulse and finds that he's still alive. The rest of the team catches up with them. Lestrade tells Anderson to gather evidence while he checked the boy for wounds. He notices the boy was holding a small piece of paper and he gently takes it from him. He reads it and sighs. He picks the boy up and starts walking down the stairs slowly. Once outside he gives the boy to Sally, walks a few steps, takes out his phone and calls Sherlock. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2~

It was cold and dark. The sun isn't set to rise until a couple hours, but there were people awake. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are just two of people and instead of being at home asleep, like most people, they're taking a cab to the crime scene. When they got out there were cars everywhere and everyone had somewhere to go. They walked up to Lestrade, who was standing next to an ambulance, and next to him was a little boy wrapped in a blanket. The little boy's face was blank and his eyes were empty, his hair was also damp with blood. Lestrade bent down to the little boy and told him to stay seated; he then walked Sherlock and John to the other side of the ambulance.

"This case has something to do with the boy and you want me to interrogate him" Sherlock said quickly.

"Yes and yes, but there's still more to this", Lestrade sounded nervous and he was stammering, "When we found the boy he had a piece of paper in his hand. The piece of paper had your address on it", Lestrade handed Sherlock the piece of paper," I asked the boy if he knew you and he said no, well he shook his head, so I asked him more questions. He wouldn't talk he would only move his head. I asked him who you are to him and he looked me straight in the eye and said that you were his father."

John's eyes widened and his mouth fell open, "What? Sherlock? That boy's father is Sherlock?"

"Of course I am the boy's father, didn't you notice the similar traits? The hair, eyes, cheekbones? Although some of his mother's traits are evident, I think mine stands out the most." Sherlock said with a slight hint of sarcasm.

"Wait, you knew you were the boy's father and you didn't tell us?" Lestrade asked loudly.

"Well you didn't ask" Sherlock responded calmly.

Lestrade sighed, he was tired and it was 2 in the morning, this isn't the time to banter with Sherlock "Ok whatever, I was thinking you should go and ask him some question about his mother. She was found dead from a gunshot wound in her back and she was on top of the boy when we found her."

"There's nothing to ask, they've both been on the run and hiding for quite some time, as for him, his whole life. She was being hunted down for some faults in her past and her past associates. They caught up to her and killed her. It's as simple as that and one of her past associates is already dead, so the killer that murdered her is working with said past associate and was just doing as he was told. Go find him if you want, I don't really care and no to your other request."

Lestrade looked at him stupidly, "What other request? I only asked you to do one thing and you already refused that."

Sherlock glared at him," You were going to ask me to bring that boy back to my flat so he could live with me. I'm sorry but that answer to that is no, there's not enough space."

John stared at Sherlock, "What? How can you say that? His mother just died and you're probably all he has left. You're just going to abandon him like that?"

"I'm sure they'll find a suitable orphanage for him."

"Sherlock, you're all he has left. I say we take him in for a little while and we figure out what to do with him, besides it's late and I think he would want to get some rest after what just happened."

"I told you, we can't keep him. I don't know anything about child care and there's not enough room in the flat", Sherlock said with a stern voice.

John sighed," Then you don't have to take of him, I'll take care of him. The bottom line is, Sherlock, we're not abandoning him!"

Sherlock stared at him and stayed silent for a couple of seconds. He huffed and said, "Fine. But only for a little while."

The first couple of days in 221B weren't that bad. Hamish stays in John's room and shares a bed with him. John and Mrs. Hudson do most of the child caring while Sherlock simply ignores Hamish's existence. It wasn't hard to ignore Hamish; he does nothing but sit on the couch. He doesn't talk, unless spoken to, he doesn't move, unless he was told to, and he doesn't show any emotions, he doesn't even cry. John believes Hamish is still in shock after what happened that night. But John likes the boy, he's polite, has good manners, and he's intelligent. His mother taught him well. Lestrade visits most days to ask Hamish some questions about the killer. Hamish gives answers, with a blank emotionless face, but the answers don't help the case much. They found information on his mother, she was listed as dead eight years ago and all of her files from the government were destroyed. They couldn't find any files or information about Hamish. There was no birth certificate, or finger prints, or hospital records. There was nothing it was as if he never existed at all until up to this point. Sherlock says that's what his mother was trying to do. Even though he's never been to the hospital or seen a proper doctor, the boy was completely healthy, and even without any records he knew his own blood type, his mother's name, where he was born and how old he was. Lestrade says this is a good start.

With Irene gone, the only remaining member of the Adler family is Hamish. His grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins were long deceased or were cut off. He has no one else to take him in. Sherlock suggests to John to leave Hamish in an orphanage.

"This is the first thing you ever contributed in trying to helping with the boy and this is the first thing you said about him ever since he's been here", the anger in John's voice was rising," For the love of God Sherlock, he has no one else left. His entire family is gone, we're all he has left, don't you understand? He has no one and he has nothing. I don't care if you won't take care of him or not, I will take care of him along with Mrs. Hudson! The bottom line is Sherlock, we're not abandoning him."

Mrs. Hudson comes into their flat, worried about the yelling, and tells John not to yell so much or he might scare Hamish. John looks to Hamish; the boy was still sitting on the couch as if nothing happened, but there was a sadness and loneliness in his eyes. John relaxes and apologizes for yelling.

Hamish ends up living with Sherlock and John, seeing as he has nowhere else to go and John was not willing to give him up. Sherlock still ignores Hamish, John doesn't know if this is a good thing or not. John suggests to Sherlock to try and be a father or at least have some sort of relationship with Hamish, Sherlock scoffs and says no. One day Mrs. Hudson takes Hamish out with her, she says sitting in a flat all day isn't healthy for a young boy and fresh air does him good. John asks why Sherlock doesn't care about Hamish, pays any attention to him, or even acknowledges his existence. Sherlock doesn't answer, but John knows the answer. He knows the killer is still out there and he thinks he's going to come back and kill Hamish. Sherlock can't get attached to the boy; once he's dead Sherlock would lose everything.

Mrs. Hudson buys Hamish some ice cream and he sits in a park bench while Mrs. Hudson gossips away with one of her friends. Hamish doesn't want to go back to the flat. He isn't used to staying at one place too long; he isn't used to having a home. If his mother was still alive they would be in some foreign land by now. He doesn't want to go back to John, even though Hamish likes John and it's been 3 months, he's still a stranger to him. He definitely doesn't want to go back to Sherlock. He knew his father would be cold and misunderstanding but he didn't expect him to completely ignore him. His father never talks to him or looks at him. Whenever John is out, and Hamish and Sherlock are alone together, Hamish feels like a ghost hovering in the flat or another piece of furniture taking up space. He doesn't want to go back, he misses being on the run and he misses his mother the most. He doesn't cry but his heart still dies every time he thinks of her. But he has no choice, he has to go back to Sherlock, because, as John said, he has no one and he has nothing.

One night he couldn't fall asleep. He's been lying in bed for an hour and his brain hasn't shut off yet. John was spending the night at Mary's again so he has the entire bed to himself. He decides to have a little fun and rolls around the entire bed. It wasn't a big bed but it was big enough to roll around in. Eventually he gets bored and a little dizzy but he still can't fall asleep. He looks at the clock and it reads 1:59 am. He hears some noise downstairs. He listens closely and he hears someone playing music. He quietly opens the door and the music becomes louder. He remembers that Sherlock has a violin and he's probably playing it right now. He sneaks down the stairs a couple of steps and stops and sits down on the seventh one. He sits there listening to Sherlock play his violin. He remembers waiting for his mother one time at a park. She told him to wait for him here while she took care of some business. She never told him what the business was but he thinks it's better if he didn't know. While he was waiting he sees a homeless man, playing with a guitar, begging for money. He stares at the homeless man the entire time and listens intently to the music he's playing. Everyone ignores the man except Hamish. Hamish likes the fact that everyone is ignoring the man, he feels like the man is playing music for a private concert and it's all for him. He slides over to the wall and leans his head on it. He sits on the staircase without making a noise, enjoying the music Sherlock is playing. He thinks Sherlock doesn't notice him but Sherlock did, he heard him moving around upstairs and he knows Hamish is listening to him play. For some reason this makes Sherlock try to play better as if he was trying to impress the boy. He plays as though he was playing for an audience and he was at center stage. After a while he stops playing and stays silent for a little. He hears a slightly loud breathing that is evened out. He puts his violin back into the case and walks slowly back to the stairs. He sees Hamish asleep with head leaning on the wall and his mouth open. The next morning Hamish wakes up in bed with the blanket tucked tightly around his body.

After a couple of months the inevitable happens, Mycroft visits. John has been trying to delay this with as many excuses as possible but sooner or later it was going to happen. Mycroft enters the living room and greets John and Sherlock. John says hi but Sherlock chose to ignore him instead, working in front of the microscope. Mycroft walks slowly in front of Hamish, staring him down. Hamish, as always, is sitting on the couch. He looks up at Mycroft and decides in a split second he doesn't like the man. The man had a smug expression on his face and he was looking down on Hamish like he was a joke and someone to be disposed of.

"Well I have to say Sherlock, you really out did yourself this time", Mycroft said with a smile. He was still looking down on Hamish. Sherlock ignored him but Hamish felt a flush of anger. He felt like the man was insulting and challenging him. He positioned the juice box he was drinking in front of Mycroft's pelvis and squeezed the box with all his might. When the box was empty he threw it at Mycroft's chest and yelled, "Go away fatty!" He then turned to the other side of the couch and laid in a fetal position. Mycroft looked down at himself and sighed. He looked back at the boy who had his back turned to him.

"Charming, truly charming. You got yourself a winner Sherlock."

John started apologizing immediately and followed Mycroft out, as he was leaving, apologizing the entire way. Hamish turns his little head to look over at Sherlock. He sees him smiling and he smiles a bit too. Sherlock glances back at Hamish and his smile disappears immediately as well as Hamish's. Hamish scoots on into the sofa more and Sherlock goes back to his work. John comes back and congratulates Hamish on what he's done with a sarcastic tone. John goes to his laptop and types up what just happened on his blog, venting his anger. While John was busy, Hamish turns his head a bit and peers over at Sherlock. His father was still working; Hamish smiles a little and turns his head back into the couch. Sherlock glances over at Hamish and sees his tiny smile; he smiles as well.

One day he forgets. He didn't mean for it to happen, it just did, he couldn't help it. He doesn't know how it happened, he just slipped. It happens one morning when Sherlock, John and Mrs. Hudson were out and he was alone at the flat. Sherlock was following a case, John had a date with Mary, and Mrs. Hudson was at the park with her friends. He was sitting on the couch as usual, the television was on but he wasn't watching it, thinking to himself. And he just forgets, it was as simple as that. At first he panics, he clutches his head and pulls out his own hair. He starts running around flat, going through old files, looking her up on the internet. He runs out of the flat with a pocket full of money and gets into a cab. When Sherlock returns he finds the flat to be more of a mess than it usually is. There were boxes and books open, paper was scattered across the floor, and John's laptop was open and faced down; it looked like it was dropped. He picks up the laptop and finds her name on the Google Image search bar; there were zero results. He sighs and looks for clues. He gets out of the cab and enters the cemetery. He finds Hamish sitting in front of her grave crying oceans of tears. Hamish spots Sherlock walking towards him and immediately stops crying. He wipes away his tears and runs a sleeve across his nose.

"What do you want?" asked Hamish, his voice was quivering.

Sherlock stops behind him," You can continue crying if you want."

"I wasn't crying", Hamish lied, "What do you want?"

Sherlock reaches into his pockets, pulls out the women's phone and hands it to Hamish.

"This belonged to your mother when she was "alive". She considered that phone to be her life and she after she "died" I kept it."

Hamish stared at the phone in his hands. He clenched it and was furious. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he yelled "How is this supposed to help me? How is it supposed to help me remember how she looks like or what her voice sounds like? This phone is useless!"

Hamish throws the phone across the yard and it hits a tombstone. He was fuming with rage, his hands were clenched into fists and his knuckles were white. He felt insulted that Sherlock was here and gave him that phone. Sherlock looks at the boy and reaches into his coat pocket once more. He pulls out a picture and passes it to him.

"I had some difficulty finding this. After I faked your mother's death, the government destroyed most of her records. They didn't want anyone from the general public finding out what happened so they had to destroy all traces of her. The only thing I could save was her phone and this picture of her. The picture is old, she was probably still a teenager when it was taken, but it's the only one I have."

Hamish stares at the picture. He looks at it for a long time; just holding the small picture with his two hands and looking at it. Then he starts crying, just streams of tears falling down his face. Sherlock looks around, hoping no one is around. He sets his gaze back down to the boy and slowly, very gently, he runs his hand through the boy's hair as a comforting gesture. The boy continues crying louder than before.

He wonders if he loved his mother. The only time he ever really mentioned her was that time in the cemetery. He never speaks of her at all. In the beginning John would tell Hamish about her but it wasn't things he needed to know.

"What?" Sherlock asks in shock.

"Did you love my mother?" Hamish repeats with curiosity. Sherlock looks at the boy bewildered. The boy was just sitting on the couch and he just asks Sherlock the question.

Sherlock immediately goes back to his microscope and starts talking very quickly, "Why do you care? It's irrelevant. None of your business. No need to be thinking about those things. Are you hungry? Do you need something to eat? Something to drink? Do you want Mrs. Hudson to cook you something?"

It was the first time he seen his father like this, uncomfortable and awkward. He smiles.

Yeah that's it the end. I felt like I kinda rushed this a bit so I apologize. But thanks for reading and please review


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